Popsicle Guy Is An Idiot

At work I bump into an amazing number of idiots. Popsicle Guy wins in the category of most annoying and persistent idiot as well as a contender in the lowest IQ contest. One day while I was managing the cash registers a cashier called me over for help with a customer, Popsicle Guy. Popsicle Guy had shopped in the store for so long that his frozen treat of choice had melted. I, at once, apologized and got him a new box of popsicles fresh from the freezer.
I arrived back at the register, box of popsicles in hand, only to find that Popsicle Guy had lost his receipt. He explained to me that he wanted the receipt in case the popsicles were bad and needed to be returned. I asked him to check his pockets, his wallet, his bag of merchandise, all in an effort to help this man locate his missing receipt. I knew that this customer was going to be a challenge. After checking all possible locations for the missing receipt he demanded that I print him another one. Re-printing receipts is not possible with my store's software system. Popsicle Guy was displeased. For forty-five minutes Popsicle Guy argued with me over his receipt, then reached into his pocket and pulled out his receipt. Then he apologized to me for the misunderstanding, and asked for another box of popsicles because now the second box had melted.

The Idiot That Takes Most Of My Money

My landlord is good at making promises. He promised that everything in my new apartment worked perfectly and would be clean on move-in day. The previous tenants were very dirty and had ruined a lot of things in this apartment so this promise was necessary , without it, I would not have signed the lease. I did, however, sign the lease. On move-in day I received a phone call at 5:30a.m. It was my landlord. He kindly explained that the previous tenants were not packed and probably would not be so for another week. Kindly I explained to him that I had a signed contract saying that the apartment was mine as of the current date and that if he did not want me to move them out that perhaps, he should help them get the message. I arrived at my new apartment to find the previous tenants and my landlord furiously packing things into boxes. I proceeded to move my things into the apartment, purposefully getting in the way as much as possible.
Finally the old tenants were out. There were dirty dishes in left in my sink. There was an oxygen tank with the used breathing tubes in my bedroom. There was leftover food in the refrigerator. There was an old wet mop in the kitchen, and a mysterious white powder and muddy footprints everywhere. Needless to say my apartment was not clean. I called my landlord and told him that as he did not higher a professional to clean my apartment that he should pay me to clean the apartment for him. He refused, I cleaned the apartment.
Later in the week I decided to use my oven for the first time. It didn't work. So being the handyman I am, I decided to try and fix it. Upon pulling out the oven, I discovered rat poison and several dead mice. After I finished screaming I called my landlord and told him that I had an emergency and that he needed to come over right away. He came over, and cleaned up the dead mice and promised to buy me a new oven.
I have no new oven. My landlord is an idiot.